Fly Away Home
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Something's bugging Banjo and Kazooie


It was snowing outside and Banjo was indoors, keeping warm and tuning his musical instruments for band practise. He had a banjo and a kazoo.

"That kazoo actually belongs to me," said Kazooie. She donned her Kanohi mask and pulled out her flaming sword. She struck the frets of the banjo and broke them like childish candles.

"Oy! You vandal!" cried Banjo. He quickly got out the horseradish.

"Is that for horses?" asked Mumbo, peering into the rickety cabin with the windows and the doors all sway-sway like the pecky-abby goodness of Sherlock Holmes the Homie.

Banjo got into the game with flashier pecs and abs that accentuated just how delish his absolute rear was. No one had ever seen such a majestic bootay since that one episode of BAttlestar Galactica back in the 90's. People used to run back then, but I didn't.

"Stinkin' bears and their stinkin' grubby paws," growled Kazooie as he beak shined in the fire light. As a responsible nonhuman being, she doused the flames with cricket matters. All was right and all was good. None was left or bad.

"Kazooie, I needed that fire for warmth," said Banjo with anger in his eyes, nose, scapula, tendons, and tuchus. "See how I freeze now?"

"Good, you should freeze because you look like a salmon with no respect," commented Kazooie like a winged guru.

Banjo was totes ashamed, fam. He thought about how his fear of icy frost on his brown fur was like the epitome of being a total woodstink. A lot of people would probably make fun of him, and Kazooie was only trying to help him.

"Kazooie, do you believe in many hearts?" asked Banjo, tears welling up like tulips and tea.

"Aye, all but Google Boy's," answered the astute breegull. She took a clam and tore it open, displaying the contents on the stove, searing and steaming like a righteous chef. Alton Brown would be proud.

"Bear and Bird make good team," said Mumbo with keen observation and tutu-ownership. "When will hope die?"

"Never!" shouted Kazooie. "You gotta listen to your heart."

Banjo placed an ear to the street and heeded with his auditory receptors.

Mr. Fit crawled out from the fireplace and boasted his Bionic Bunny comic book collection. He made a house with it and lived inside the family kitchen with the secret wall from the file select screen after you press start to skip the opening cutscene and the demo on the Nintendo 64 cartridge for the Nintendo 64 in 1998 for all regions part of a good breakfast, rated E for Everyone.

"Dang, my entire butt," said Kazooie, aware of the rump judgment. It was stupid and unneeded like the Chaotix fanfics, but that was totes relatable, especially for my homie Brycen from Finland.

"Kazooie, can you give this further examination?" said Banjo, removing his tongue and laying it atop the sacred clams. Kazooie took a good look like Mr. PotatoHead said when he threatened me with yam poisoning.

"Banjo, I see not a thing," said Kazooie.

Banjo shook his head. "No, look... harder..."

And so Kazooie looked deeper and deeper into the removed bear tasting instrument. She then saw her deceased father in the tastebuds. She harked and delivered her joys to the altar.

George Costanza was sitting on the altar with the sauciest pose known to mankind. Due to no one being a man (save Mumbo perhaps), nobody cared for George's hot salsa.

"Stop your good looks," said Banjo, readying his lightsabers that he received on Amazon for the price of twelve Wumpa Fruits that he got from his old pal Crash Team Racing.

"Yo, I'm just a single man," said George. "All the single Georges! All the single Georges!"

"Dang, this is so butt-stinkin' deadly and the toxicity forbodes madness, bruh," said Kazooie. She cut the pie and fed several slices to her clockwork children.

"Thank you, mother unit," said the baby robot things of egg origins. They then exploded into thousand of pieces. Kazooie did not weep, for such was the stinkin' circle of life.

Banjo got his boots on and now he looked really good for entering sewers and battling monstrous crocodilians that Batman was way too scared to tangle with.

"Batman?" said George. "More like 'Buttman'!" George giggled like an evil villain.

"Oh my stars, George Costanza is actually the Joker.

George put on a happy face and summoned Arsene. He used the Wing of Rebellion to win friendship with Ryuji (something Sakurai will never be able to do).

A ladybird flew into the center of the diamond circle adourning the halls of justice. Kazooie stepped on the pest and oozed the guts between her talons.

"Oh, why did you squish me with your squishing foot?" asked the ladybird.

"Because I hate sharks," said Kazooie with the obvious tone of voice that would make all the lazy chickens dance.

"I see," said the ladybird. "Carry on, then."

"Yes," said Kazooie. She walked over to Banjo and placed him onto her back. "I must carry you to meet your father now, Kiddo."

"No, I do not want to meet that ugly old fatboy," said Banjo humphing like a rotisserie chameleon.

"You act like a butted loser with too much earwax in his ears. Stop being stubborn and think!" Kazooie then bit off Banjo's nose and cast it into the Pacific ocean where it was quickly devoured by the inhabitant Incineroars.

Banjo wept for his comrade and then supplied his face with a healthy banana as substitute. "I see that this must be the day that I Guh my last Huh..."

**FIN**


End file.
